We can beat this
by eachlittleword
Summary: After ten minutes of just lying staring at the ceiling in bed with the sense of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach and the thoughts of the past few weeks still buzzing through her brain.


**After ten minutes of just lying staring at the ceiling in bed with the sense of uneasiness in the pit of her stomach and the thoughts of the past few weeks still buzzing through her brain, she was suddenly pulled out of her little trance by the sound of her cell beeping to tell her she had received a text. Horatio, typical really, how she disliked being on call.**

_She had spent the majority of the sleepless night thinking back to her childhood, it had been a never ending roller coaster ride of hate - directed towards, and from her, denial, secrets and lies. Starting from a very young age, only back then what seemed like an utter nightmare, or totally wrong was in fact nothing compared to what she'd seen in the past seven years since she started working for CSI, here in Miami Dade._

_At that tender age of eight it was just petty things like her and her friends throwing apples at the doors in her street, and bad mouthing the people who answered those doors until they threatened to call the cops. Their pained and annoyed expressions never bothering her or her friends until she went home to bed on a night. That's when the realisation that they were being out of line always hit home. But still, she continued her obnoxious behaviour for many years to come, no matter how guilty she felt.. So I guess many years of guilt for such trivial things as that have lead to her feeling more guilty later in life for much worse things she came to see, and eventually do._

_**Shaking herself back to reality she climbed out of bed, threw on some clothes and headed to work - another day,** **possibly good. Possibly pointless. Sometimes she has so many messed up days that she just loses track.**_

_Dolls, she never enjoyed those until she reached nine years old, then she traded her racing cars and action figures for 'little girl dollies', well they slowly became one of her favourite things at the time back then but where most girls were playing at marrying off theirs and getting them first class jobs and planning kids in their role plays with their dolls, She for some sickening reason played them off as being woman tortured. Being beaten and raped and having kids they never wanted or even possibly strangled, and she loved the pain of it. The hatred in it. The fact that it wasn't her or her mother enduring that pain for themselves made the whole concept less hurtful. Her father never hurt her mom so the reasons for this are still unclear to her now. Admittedly she only ran to play these games with the dolls when her parents screamed the house down and slashed out with verbal abuse. That was her excuse, which honestly used to make her rather resentful to them and its always been that way ever since. Her elder brothers, now she loved them but they used to always run to the parents and tell on her for every little tiny thing she did wrong, yet they always got away with it because nobody dare say anything about them. With herself being a constant door mat throughout her life was bound to cause disastrous consequences in the long haul. Leading her to have deep trust issues, the kind where she found it hard to trust anyone, and find it hard to admit her true feelings. Over the years she has begun to live in constant denial convincing herself that she only needed herself,_ "I don't need anyone else."_ When she eventually let herself admit those true feelings they got stamped on, everyone she liked was stolen by people she trusted because they never wanted her. At first it hurt like mad but eventually she begun to accept it was the way things were meant to be and accepted it for exactly that… It still hurts her now to this day but she has managed to conceal it all so well behind her signiature smile, so well, in fact - that nobody has a clue._

_She was a good child, or at the least she had tried to be at one point but she and her friends did deliberately try to upset people. Pathetic, she knew that but it blocked out the pain and sadness for a short while. The pain caused by the torment she was to gain for the next few years, untill the end of her life, or until her parents grew up a notch.** It was like a broken record. Constantly every day. Everything in her parents eyes was her fault. Every little thing, Only it wasn't ….**_

_It was only early, six am to be exact but for some strange reason Calleigh had been called in to work, and just as suddenly has she had the sense that something was not right kicked in she remembered that she was driving. This was normality throughout the past few weeks, as a lot of shit had gone down recently with her, and Eric, and work, a lot of shit which she wished she had avoided like a hawk. However, her heart, and a fine amount of alcohol the night before, had led to her biggest mistake as of yet, she took her eyes off of the road which had threatened her life and at some point in the night too, her sanity._

_"What the fuck" She said quite loudly, as she felt her something slam in to the passenger side of her vehicle._ _Waiting for her heart to stop pounding she looked around at her dismal surroundings. __Grasping her phone she frantically typed_ "Call me, quick" _And hit the send button. __This was all she needed._

* * *

_Walking up to the crime scene, Eric and Calleigh were talking about Calleigh's previous car accident. She looks over at the young woman laid on the floor. Her car stereo was playing, ironically, Walk on water by basshunter. Calleigh began to drone and mumble to herself for a long time Eric could make no sense of her words, he looked at her dimly, she was fiddling with a stray strand of hair. Her gaze never faltering putting him at unease. Calleigh stopped twirling her hair and let her gaze fall away from Eric and then at last she spoke much more clearly._

"Oh my god" _she turned_ _her back to the lifeless woman and walked to the car. Turning down the stereo she_ _muttered with her eyes twinkling - not with laughter but with unshed tears. She looked back up to meet Eric's gaze and continued to speak. She was starting to look a lot paler than the norm for her. As the saying goes - she looked like she had seen a ghost._

"This is madness"_ After a time, a little colour began to creep back into her face. She still had heart, and hope. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath._

"Kerry Elizabeth Lawson"

_Eric _glared in a disbelieving state at her and then _asked, "You know all of that by turning down her stereo?" and with that he smiled a cheeky smile making Calleigh feel a slight bit of what she originally used to be before the earlier accident. 'Happy'_

_Calleigh searched for the words but it was evident that the shock had swallowed her voice box, and her mind. All she could say muster up was 'Insurance'_

_Eric looked at her desparingly. He understood and nothing more was needed,. For a moment Eric felt a child's humiliation, for the first time in many years he couldn't think of the words he wanted, it was true to form that he never really could get things right around Calleigh unless by accident._

_Calleigh walked back to the victim passing Eric with a weak_ _smile as if to say "I'm fine, really" though words she never really needed to use._

_The victim was a very young woman with fair hair, twenty three years old to be exact. She wore a lovely black v-neck dress and upon a head was a ribbon that clasped her hair behind her ears. Her cheeks were rosy red which brought out the beautiful pale blue color of her eyes. Eric walked over to photograph the vehicle and Calleigh noticed his face froze. He looked worried and miserable - she had never seen look so miserable_

"What is it Eric?" _she asked with concern evident in her voice. She walked to the car and stood beside him. He was looking towards the back seat - her eyes followed suit._

_Sitting in a baby chair on that lonely back seat, Her little eyes twinkled at them, and she looked around benignantly but soon her_ _wandering eyes glazed, her eyelids stole shut, and then opened, and then stole shut once again, and she was fast asleep, and yet she didn't seem disattisfied or miserable, she looked gently, peaceful._

"Doesn't she look innocent?" _Eric asked Calleigh with a sudden outburst that disturbed the silence._

"Considering, Yeah.... What do we do?"

"You're asking me?" _he chuckled surprisingly and then thinking better of it he cracked a smile._

"I don't know" _she replied nervously_ "Criminals walk all over, getting away with thinks, but at last they make a mistake - in the end everything comes to us_" she said 'criminals' with such hatred that it turned her stomach._

"Like this little angel?"

"Yeah..." _To be honest the happy high she had been feeling a few minutes ago had_ _completely worn off no matter how hard she had tried to fight it, she could no longer care less. She just wanted to go home._

There was a few minutes of silence before Eric spoke again."

"Mental blank Cal?"

"Yeah" _she chuckled lightly and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ears, _"Well i do know that we can't really leave her in the car during this heat unless we want another crime scene"

"No we can't" _glancing around for a place to put the little girl Eric reached into the car and removed her from the car seat, cradling her in his arms he looked at Calleigh and noticing the confusion on her face he asked_ "So how much do you know about the victim?

"Not much, she was really sweet and in a hurry - but she even offered to pay me on the spot for the damage."

"Yeah?"

"I told her that it wasn't necessary, that i had good insurance, that's when she climbed back into the car for her paperwork and told me her name. I didn't even notice the kid" _she_ _sighed and shook her head_ "I'm supposed to notice these things"

"Hey!, you're trained to notice these things"

"Exactly"

_Eric chuckled at her and said_ "At work" _He tried his hardest to play the innocent act, but knowing full well it would not work wondered why the hell he had bothered. He knew too well that Calleigh could see through him. _"You're trained to notice these things when you're at work - you weren't at work and you weren't working"

"I know you're right but i don't want to believe you" _a_ _confused Calleigh muttered, stumbling over each word sharply. It was the only thing she could think of to say. _

"Why?" he looked at her with a puzzled expression

_As the dizziness and the awareness of what had just happened today, the girl, the accident, the deja vu all settled in she saw that Eric was still waiting for an answer. _"Well you know how i like to be right 'bout stuff"

"Oh yeah, totally" _he felt a giggle build up in his stomach and then whispered in the young childs ear_

"Pretend we're not with her, she's crazy"

"I can't believe you're doing that" _ All patience gone, and all care in her disintegrated. She really needed a vacation, Didin't she?_

"The girls gotta be prepared Cal" he shrugged

* * *

_Rummaging in her kit she scoffed and pulled out a pair of tweezers, a mirror and a swab. She heard Eric giggling behind her and talking to the child. She had started to cry and squirm in his arms and clearly whatever he had been saying to calm her was not working. Maybe if he talked about Calleigh less he would have a shot at calming her...but it was Eric afterall._

_"_Why're you crying angel?" _he asked stroking her cheek as she buried her head in his t-shirt. Nothing, he sighed_. "If you think i'm going to cave at that look you're giving me right now little lady, you are insulting me. It doesn't work with Calleigh and it wont work with you."

_Snickering quietly calleigh said_ " You know Eric, i've just realised what a real charmer you are"

Smirking at her he asked "How's the evidence coming along?"

"I could do with a little help" _Eric was watching her, he was about to speak but couldn't find the right words. That pang on guilt hit him very hard and fast. Trust Calleigh._

"I'm sorry do you want me to put her back in the car and help you?"_ nervously he glanced away from Calleigh, damnit. Now what?_

"No, no, don't you worry, I called Ryan while you were talking about me, he's on his way to help"

"Ah, yes Ryan, what could be more fun than being with that loony for three hours?

"I'm hoping it wont take that long. Don't you go starting that again Delko, he's your best friend"

"Still don't know why i put up with him, Atleast you tell me what's what, I've known you so long, Ryan's just-"

"A great young guy who really wants to be your friend?" _she begun looking up at him suspiciously_

"Yeah, right" _he scoffed his reply a little hastily. Were they talking about the same Ryan here? _

"Who'd have thought you were such a romantic Eric?"_ she smirked and stood up, picking up her evidence at the same time._


End file.
